Wow. Just Wow.

No Words... Just Go Safe for Work.

It has come to my attention that numerous co-workers of mine have discussed buying some of these to see what they do. Seriously? hundreds of dollars for a bunny that lights up and reads you your email?

I will now be taking bids on dressing up in this years halloween costume (I was a bunny, the mrs was a carrot...true story) and reading people their emails... bidding starts and $100 bucks!

I Signed Up for "PPP"...which isn't as dirty as it sounds.

PayPerPost.com is a nifty little site that will pay me to post my thoughts on different things. I know what you are thinking. NO ALEX! But rest assured, I will try to keep it on target as not to lose my audience; but if you notice that my posts are weirdly cohesive and actually about something substantial, you will know something's up. The gist of it is that I signed up on their site and once my blog is approved, I choose from lists of opportunities to write my thoughts and reviews on these topics. Sounds simple enough. I will keep you up to date on how this works. It is an interesting venture to say the least. I am not in this game to necessarily make money hand over fist; however, I am always intrigued by the possibility of subsidizing other opportunities. Currently, those opportunities include: saving for a Disney trip, saving for a new electric guitar, a new acoustic guitar, a new mic to record with, a couple guitar pedals, and paying off a few debts in the process. I can dream at least. So, I hope this service is “as advertised.” I would love to write back in three months raving about the results. In the mean time, enjoy. payperpost

Just When I Thought America Couldn't Get Any Dumber...

They go and TOTALLY REDEEM themselves! FREE TACO DAY!! (post script) did anyone actually take care of this? Global warming took a hit the next 24 hours with all that extra methane. I heard on NPR (so it's gotta be true) that methane is something like 19x worse for the environment than CO2. True Story. So shouldn't there be a crack down (oooh, pun intended!!) on burritos? chew on that for a while...(puns are tasty)

Feedburner, Stalkers, and More

I've been learning about humility left and right. I get it. I'm not the bees knees. actually, I kind of wrote a song about it. (RK, the hits keep coming..)

You're not laughing at me, but I'm finding out I'm not even close And you've helped me to see I'm finding out I've been off for a long, long time.

that' kind of the chorus. I like it. It's kind of pop, kind of angst folk rock. It's got potential.

It's been one of those days that makes you want to stay in bed and watch scrubs reruns...for hours upon hours. Wet, cold, achy. anyway. just thought I'd share. oh by the way, it's been really fun to see who comes to my site. Apparently I have fans in a couple different cities around the US like in Maryland and South Carolina, Ohio, Texas, and California. Feedburner is multi-faceted website that ads stuff to blogger like what I call "reverse stalker"(both owned by the mighty Google). It tracks who comes to my site (city only), don't worry I won't be able to find you. Sunday is my first week back playing in the "just one part of the greater thing we call worship" team. That's what I call it at least. I could go on a rant, but brother JP did an excellent job for me when he pointed out that "there are no less than 12 different aspects of worship during our service this week, one of them being music". Too funny. too true. that's all I've got for now. <><

[SCRUBS] is coming!!!!

24 hours until the premiere!

"Spazbot" and "Dork@ss"

For the record, these are considered personal attacks by the powers that be. Unless, of course, you ARE one of the powers that be...then it's ok. Thankfully this is an "e-experience" and not a "real world experience". I mean, what would we do if real life were this ridiculously biased and hypocritical? /sarcastic rant.

Did you know? & What if I had a sitcom

I just caught myself reading about Survivor: China... did you know that they still made reality shows? seriously, hasn't this trend passed by now? but I guess neither has the "he/she was funny in a movie so let's give him/her a show loosely based on their life on the UPNCWTBS station. The "hood" and/or rural Arkansas isn't as funny as you think it is. Which got me thinking: what would my show be called if I some how made it big as a comedian and they threw a 9pm Tuesday night slot on CBS at me. Here's your answer: First of all, it definitely would star me and it would definitely have my name in the title, something like: "The Alex Burdine Super Happy Fun Train Show" or "Alex Burdine Explains it All" or "Kaleidoscopes and Pancake Mix with Alex Burdine." You get the idea. My name and everything else is tertiary, at best. Secondly, I would want my three brothers to be in the show. It's easy enough to know why I'd have my brothers in the show if you've met any of them. I, and I do this with humility, have to say that my brothers are cooler than anyone else's brothers. There's enough humor, cultural understanding, angst, and need for attention for the four of us to entertain any room. oh, and Russel Crowe and Will Sasso: here's why: some days I feel like Russel Crowe: awesome, cool, and charming. Other days I'm Will Sasso: goofy, overweight, and, well, still charming. Why those two? Two Reasons: #1) I've been told repeatedly that I kinda look like those guys. #2) as a part of the show, I don't plan on actually acting in the show. I would, however, do both voice overs and walk ons as an unseen participant that can freeze and unfreeze time. Instead, these guys (depending on the situation my character was in, would play me) I'm sure these guys would buy in. the show: Here's how a typical show goes down: title credits: montage of Russell/Will and my brothers fighting crime in a Miami Vice tribute style with Herb Alpert's "Rise" playing show opening: the show opens with a live audience and me welcoming everyone to this week's show followed by a brief monologue which will involve my brothers and I setting up that week's story. the meat: Ranging from awkward dating situations to funny inside stories that has happened to me, my family, or my friends to political commentary and satire. My show will be 22 minutes of awesomeness. At different times, I will be there to stop things and guide the story along and get in my last say. It is MY show. Regardless of the embarrassing situation or story, I deserve to have my final word. the resolution: every good show has a resolution. My show will end with moral wrap up of the story told, for instance:

and so we all learned that living in Texas has its definite perks: 1600 miles away from New Jersey drivers, unlimited meat products, and some really cool wildlife. But in the end, if you don't close the gates, your cat will probably end up half eaten by coyotes.

closing: some awesome band will close us with one of their songs in studio, just because that's what needs to happen on any cool show. Preferably, it's a song that was written just for my show and for the topic at hand. THE END. Some day I'll write an episode and post it online. tell me what you think some time. it'd be the best show on earth. don't deny it.

The Presidential "Make Up Call"

So you know when everyone thought that Al Gore was this stiff tree of a man and unlikable and then lost a pretty close election riddled with amateur, at best, vote counters? Well, it's like the apple trees from the Wizard of Oz took some happy pills and the stiff guy kinda lightened up. He grew a beard and then shaved that beard. He made jokes about being the president and then stopped. And now he's campaigning against Global Warming and even won some cool awards. I can't say one way or another that Al Gore isn't a douche in real life, but he certainly is spending his time doing meaningful things. So here's how I'm feeling at the moment: I feel like saying "my bad" Al...my bad. In other words...If Al Gore ran for president, I would vote for him. Sure there are a million questions to be asked how he would have handled 9/11, terrorism, etc... but at this point, now that there's a democratic congress, and aside from simply voting for a historical candidate (a woman or a black man: both of whom really aren't ready for the Presidency anyway), let's just give it to the guy that probably deserves it most. So Al Gore, if you decide to run for President. You have my blessing and my vote.

Poor Yoda: Caption this Picture

I'm not going to tell you the context of this picture, but please instead submit a caption for this picture.

P.S. if you actually end up venturing to www.lisashea.com you probably will laugh, cry, and be astounded all at the same time.

(both a criticism and a compliment)

Dave White - Movies.com

read him here

"P.S. — Dear '80s-Themed Movies, stop pretending mullets weren't everywhere."

Awesome.

Arrested Development

I've made a huge mistake...in a galaxy far, far away.

A Moment of Silence/Why Living in East BFE Sucks

I arrived at work this morning only to find this in my email box...it is, in fact, the saddest email I've ever received:

I arrived home late tonight/early this morning at 1:15AM from a late night network change just in time to chase off two coyotes in the driveway....I know totally cool to see them 'cause they look neat right?...No...totally shitty because I chased them away before they could finish eating the rear half of Milo. So please bow your heads in a moment of silence to remember that sad little misunderstood cat. Half of him is in a better place....half is in a tightly closed trash bag outside the house. Sorry for the gallows humor...I'm finishing my third beer and heading to bed. James

Cornhole v. Washers

this is not a prison movie coming to a theater near you... but two of the neatest, redneckiest games around: Washers Cornhole enjoy.

The Man Looks Serious

What is it with Church Websites?

I was doing a Google search for Lehigh Valley churches/vision/unity stuff for my "Vision for the Valley" project...and I stumbled upon yet ANOTHER patheti-blan-gusting (I couldn't find the right word to fit how I felt, so "pathetic, bland, and disgusting" unite as one super description.) church website. It was so ridiculous that it begged the question: Why do church websites almost universally suck? Why must they look so boiled down, neutral, inoffensive and boring? I get it on one level, because there are two exceptions to this rule: Money = cool website, i.e. the mega church website or Unusually Creative Church Member = cool website. The former is not fool proof, but it's nearly guaranteeing at least visual organization beyond that of a 4th grader. The latter is generally limited by resources anyway. I'm not trying to call out freelance (emphasis on the FREE, I would assume) web designers, but at the same time, do we really need to continue the legacy of "church = safe". And it's probably not their fault...some committee created some lowest common denominator ideas and it prevailed as "acceptable". But stick with me to understand what I'm saying and what I'm not. I believe the church should and NEEDS to be a place where we can freely (grace) share who we are with other keepers of the way (I love that term). We need transparency and a free environment to be real, to feel real. Otherwise we're just playing bumper cars and just ramming into the walls we've built. There is difference between "church = safe" and "church = grace". Safe gives us the idea of a castle...protection. Grace allows for freedom. Grace levels the playing field. Grace gives the shopping addict the same "hand" as the Gossip, the Luster, the lethargic, the cynic, the pharisee, etc. We don't need to be surprised by sin and shocked when people share their struggles. If we concern ourselves with a safe environment we focus on protecting our surroundings, so the biker couple who put out their cigarettes before entering the church might threaten our man made sanctuary (the environment, not the building) If we are grace focused we will see that same couple as equals and ripe for relationships. We can meet them at wherever they are. Real-ity (reality) becomes the way of life. What does that have to do with websites? You know the phrase: don't judge a book by its cover? well, I'm not convinced that applies to church websites... I'm just sayin'©

Darth Vader is a Jerk

:)

G-O-Inappropriate

*giggle*

(hint: think 13 year old boy humor)

Rolling Along and Super Shaker Strikes!

Today was a weird one. Came in late. Working like 8 OT hours this week. The $$ will be nice at least. We're adding a few minions over the next few days. Minions with super powers, so my work load will diminish. All good things. So the only thing I can think of is a rant I had last year this time: My rant: I'm not wild OCD guy that can't shake someone's hand, in fact, I have to do this on a regular basis because of my job, but my rant involves hygiene. I've shared this rant with a few relatives and was lambasted for my post-modern views...whatever. Here goes......... The Mrs and I were going to pre-marital counseling at a large church in the area that had a professional counseling center. It was group counseling and wasn't half as bad as it sounds. Every Sunday morning for 10 weeks we went to this church and enter the same doors near the large parking lot. Every Sunday morning for 10 weeks the same guy tried to shake my hand and everyone else's hand that walked through the door. The first few weeks I obliged and shook the guys hand. And then...one week I was in the middle of a cold or just over coming one and I decided that for the sake of other people, I would not shake the guys hand. Imagine this, people come to be healed spiritually, but leave on their death bed because super-shaker needs to get his hand grip fix for the week. On my way to the door from my car, I intentionally filled my hands with things so I could not shake the guy's hand. He looked lost as I slowly walked inside and greeted him with a hello and a head nod. I've never seen someone so lost in their life. What was he to do? Was he trying to break a hand shaking streak and I was the one person to stop him? Did this guy so blatantly disregard other people's health for his personal quest for handshaking legalism? and who's the crazy person? :)

"Ultimate Frisbee": When Adjectives Attack

I've been thinking about something: Ultimate Frisbee. We spent 2 hours on Sunday rawkin' and rollin' and as described in yesterday's post, I'm feeling it because of the power of the anti-hippie was coursing through my veins. Here's my problem: The hippies call it "ULTIMATE FRISBEE". But honestly, is it REALLY that Ultimate? Unless you're playing suspended above a shark's tank with explosions all around you, it's really just regular old frisbee with excessive amounts of running. But I suppose it's about perspective: If you're a hippie, your typical day revolves around not bathing, eating cheetos, and smoking weed. So, simply running around, in the day light no less, launching a plastic disc at high speeds towards your friends skull really IS ultimate. You can learn a lot from a hippie®

Ben Gay, 80's Movie Theme Songs, and Rabid Dogs

A group of friends played the Hippie Non-Sport of Ulitmate Frisbee for like 2 hours yesterday. I contend the more I make fun of how non-sportish this game is, the better I play. It's like all the non-hippie-ness power in the world is harnessed in me and I rawk this game hard. The unfortunate by-product of this phenomenon is the chronic aches and pains I feel in the hours following. What's that you say? No, it's a non-sport...it has nothing to do with exercise. That's crazy talk. ----- We're sitting in church yesterday morning and start to sing this song called "Amazing Love" written by some guy in the 80s. I swear to you that it was originally written for Superman 3 and all the composer did was change the lyrics to something spiritual.

Amazing Superman what a sacrifice He came from planet Krypton Son of JOR-EL, is on T.V. Lois Lane, is his main Squeeze And fights for me, He fights for me.

-----

Try this while watching TV: take the music and and lyrics to the commercial you're watching and add "and here's my rabid dog"... anytime that commercial shows a dog on the screen.

I promise, you'll laugh.