New Links

Kindly check out my new links... Five Critics and Fox Snooze are up and running. Five Critics - a movie, music, entertainment, etc review site. Fox Snooze - a US and World News commentary site. enjoy.

Favorite "Family Gathering" Games

This is my list of favorite games to play when the family gets together. It is divided by "my side" and "her side" since we play different games.

My Side: Baseball, R-Rated Dictionary Game, Axis and Allies, Poker, Fan Tan

Her Side: Up and Down the River, Sorry, R-Rated Pictionary Game, Poker

What games am I missing?

Merry Christmas

So yesterday was Christmas as you probably know, unless you were in a coma or something....which then, you're probably not reading this anyway.

I digress.

It was our first Christmas as a married couple. Good times. It was a music/fitness themed Christmas. I got Billy Blanks Tae-bo Dvds and weights. She got a mini-stepper and Cds.

I love when Christmas gifts are mutually beneficial.

Did anyone get anything good? what was your favorite gift?

please share!

Personally, I liked the DVD player we got. We don’t have to use the PS2 that I’ve been “borrowing” from a friend. Hey Nate, what’s your email/street address? I have a Playstation to return:)

Merry Christmas! Need to make a call? Try a phone card.

The Christmas Music Exchange

Me and my younger bro exchanged music this weekend...Oh happy day. Feist, Aqueduct. Belle and Sebastian, Neil Diamond, The Shins, My Morning Jacket, Spoon. I'm so happy right now, you have no idea. Now I just need to find the time to listen to it.

Blog Updates

I'm slowly going to be transitioning this blog into a business/technology/advice blog. This decision was made to help organize my thoughts better and help you, the reader, understand what I'm about. Right now I have personal stuff mixed in with business stuff and I think we'd all be better off if I stayed on topic. So check out alexburdine.com for my personal/humorist style. I'll still keep this blog peppy, so don't worry about that. And feel free to comment and email questions about business and banking or whatever. ab.

All My Excess Lives in Texas

The title of this post was a fat joke...get it? *comedy school alert: I'll explain it at the end of the post* So in my random googling, which most recently has been spurred by my newest attempt at weight loss (excess, get it? har har har), I was trying to discover ways to succeed in my quest of losing 52lbs in 52 weeks. <---dead serious. So far I'm about 15lbs into it. I was amazed because I found everything from exercise programs to gastric bypass. Seriously, someone needs to do a study on random googling and its effect on IQ, because I learn so much from the internet. I even learned what Lap Bands were:

The LAP-BAND System is the only adjustable and completely reversible weight-loss surgery available in the United States today. Amazingly enough it's available in Texas through Journey Lite Surgeons, the foremost Lap Band Surgeons in Los Angeles, Houston and Tampa.

I can't blame them, it's like putting a hot chocolate stand in Chicago in the winter...go where you're needed, right? Maybe they should check out the gold mine of fat people in PA, that's all I'm sayin'. So for me, I could never really consider that as an option to accomplish what I want to do. In my googling I actually found "The Abs Diet" via Men's Health and have been doing their exercise plan 4 times a week. It's arms, legs, abs, and cardio four times a week. I will keep track of my success. I can't wait to shed the pounds as we contemplate the future and kids and what not. houston weight loss surgery Comedy School: (where I explain the joke to people in need of a little 'splainin'): "All My Ex-es Live in Texas" is a famous country song. The post title was a pun, which, of course, is my favorite kind of joke. It was also a reference to being fat...which is the subject of this post. You and your friends can enjoy comedy school from the comfort of your home on a weekly basis as Alex explains many of his attempts at humor to the lay person.

Why Credit?

Let's face it: you need credit.

Credit has allowed people of average means to make purchases that previously only the top 10% of income earners could realistically make. From Houses to Cars to Vacations, people's wealth and happiness have been positively affected by this great tool.

Credit isn't a new phenomenon, and yet everyday I see people with no credit or bad credit. It's a shame, and I understand how it happens, but at the same time, it doesn't have to stay that way.

1) communicate when you're having trouble. Ask the bank or creditor for assistance 2) be deligent with paying off bills. Don't add more debt when you can't afford it. 3) budget your money so you know where its going.

Good Credit can save you THOUSANDS of dollars in your lifetime, so why not pay more attention to it?

Sk8 or Die?...mostly just hurt myself really bad.

Have you ever really wanted to do something that you just knew deep inside you weren't cut out to do? Some people should never cook; stay away from the kitchen and dine out should be plastered above the refridgerator. Some people will never play a "Dsus2" and pull it off. Seriously, trying is one thing when you're alone in your house...it's just sad when you do it in public.

Have you ever really wanted to do something you might be able to pull off, but just didn't have the courage to do?

Well, SurfExpo.com reminded me of all the things I wish I would have done in the earlier parts of my youth, but never had the guts to pull off.

In my early 20s I attempted to learn to skate board and could ollie and even pulled off a 50/50 board slide and shove it once. In the end I was way too conscious about hurting myself and losing my job or something. Real Punk, I know.

I watched skating videos on that site for a while thinking to myself, "you know, kyle (that's what I call myself) I really could have been half decent if I would started doing this at like age 13 or something. Hindsight is 20/20 and oh so rosey.

what do you wish you could have learned earlier in life?

New Music

(well, old music, but maybe new to you) Check out the music in the top banner bar. I added some sweet tunes by Sigur Ros, Feist, and more. "1,2,3,4" by Feist personally makes me dance like a school girl, but that's what music does. It makes you rock, when you're not ever going to really rock, it makes you dance, when you're not ever going to really dance.

Financial Talk from ADitLoa Banker

Did you know that there are businesses that specialize in helping individuals with bad credit?

Bad Credit Loans help people with poor credit get re-established in the credit market. Without good credit, you could end up paying thousands of dollars in extra interest over your lifetime. In some cases, you won't be able to make major purchases like houses, cars, etc that are benchmarks for healthy personal portfolios

Unsecured Personal Loans are loans used without collateral. Typically these are short term loans with higher interest rates. They are one of the best ways to establish good credit, if you can qualify.

Bad Credit Credit Cards are cards that have low limits, but encourage and reward the user when they pay back the balance. They can have higher interest rates, but the point is that it would be easier to pay back a card with a $300 limit and less risk for the lender.

So if you're serious about getting back on a good foot financially, consider some of these options.

North vs. South

I'm going to start a semi-regular rant post about the differences between the north and the south. I've lived in both sections of the country (Texas & Pennsylvania) so I feel I have a good feel for how things go down in these parts of the country. I promise to be ruthless towards both sides, when it necessitates.

Today I am going to compare the phenomenon known as "passing on the right".

In the South, people are well aware that you may have something more pressing than they do, so they move over into the shoulder, giving you a better chance to pass. This is followed by an exchange of hand waves, which is roughly translated to "thank you".

In the North, people are well aware that you may have something more pressing than they do, but when you go to pass them, they speed up, giving you a better chance to wreck your car. This is followed by an exchange of middle fingers, which is roughly translated to "f you".

I hope you enjoyed this week's installment of "North vs. South".

Updated Christmas List

Human Touch HT 7450 Zero Gravity Massage Chair

That's pretty much all I want.

No seriously, I am in the midst of figuring out what everyone wants for Christmas (this would be close family members, sorry readers) so if your last name is Burdine, please leave a message for me and tell me exactly what it is that you are hoping and wishing for. If you're like me and want the Human Touch Zero Gravity Massage Chair, then you've got as much chance at that as I do. Sorry Family.

Here's our list:

1) Men's Warehouse Gift Card 2) iTunes Gift Card 3) 4 new tires for my car. front and rear brakes for my car. front brakes for the mrs' car. 4) a high five or a mix of your favorite music right now 5) Finishing "the not list"

so basically, you know who you are based on my list. have at it. (hint #3 is paid for by my boss via OT)

I love Christmas. *pours one out for my homies* and here's one towards getting a sweet bonus.

The Guitar Stand...Stand

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce to you my new invention: For people who aren’t sure what to do with their guitar stands when they’re not in use, from AlCo Products comes “The Guitar Stand Stand”.

This creation is intended to alleviate all of your worries on stage when you aren’t using your guitar stand. It’s a handy device that protects your guitar stand from random bumps that may cause your guitar stand to fall over and sustain damage. Through a patented German engineering and Italian innovation, now when someone bumps your guitar stand regardless of whether you guitar is actually in the stand or not, you can have twice the satisfaction knowing that your “Guitar Stand Stand” will keep your precious gear intact.

Look for it on eBay.

Loggin Day and a new love for power tools

I haven't had a chance to write about this yet, but I thought since the opportunity arose, I would do so now. The day after Thanksgiving where I live has a deep tradition of community. A deep tradition of community and...logging. The day looks something like this: Everyone wakes up and meets at the neighbor's house for breakfast. Some loud music is played, in this case "Zeplin" and we get pumped up to move chopped up dead trees around in the freezing cold. It was our virgin experience as new comers to "the hill"...and we had a great time. The best part: The POWER TOOLS. I got to use a chainsaw for the (real) first time and drove around the kiddies and piles of logs in a John Deere gator ATV. Too much fun, seriously. So in my new found love of power tools, I found a power tool blog. There, I found out about the Ingersoll Rand IQv Cordless system. Yes please. It's a great blog with great deals. check it out. One day I might be able to afford the power leaf blower, chain saw, and log splitter I am dreaming of at night. Oh, and don't even get me started on the John Deere Gator ATV... Next year I will be prepared to take out a forest by myself.

When a band is not really a band...

Alright, I just have to say that I've been hearing about these bands that have just two people in them...like a drummer and a guitar player. This whole set up was made famous by The White Stripes (who surprisingly sound good on their album, but I'm sure suck live).

Seriously, it has to stop. Unless you're Simon and Garfunkel and in some folksy band or something, it's not okay to skip out on a bass player or whatever player.

Honestly, it's like people who have one or two kids. Sure you have a kid and that's a lot of responsibility, but from the kid's perspective, they're going to end up maladjusted. I don't mean this like in the serious "school shooting" maladjustment way; just like "when all the guys are hanging out and one of them farts, you freak out" or "not understanding that getting beat up is just a part of being in a family" or "The world isn't out to serve you" kinds of way.

In that same way, having only two people in a band messes with the delicate balance of attention sharing and other mojo type issues...not to mention the complete sound that comes from a live band (drummer, bass, guitar, singer, etc).

I was thinking about this last night and thought I'd share.

Disney or Bust

credit cards can be such a pain. According to Creditcards.com "Of the households that do owe money on credit cards, the median balance was $2,200". Amazing. "51 percent of the US population has at least two credit cards" Well, I decided to change my ONE credit card from my previous employer's card to the Disney Rewards Card, because with all the purchasing we do with gas, food, etc these days, why not get rewarded? It started with free balance transfers and then with 1% towards Disney money. Basically it works like this: $300 (for fuel each month) x 12 = $3600 and $200 (for groceries) x 12 = 2400, makes $6000 per year...or $60 towards disney purchases. Add in Car repairs and airplane tickets and other expenses, it's easy to see how an extra $100 towards a disney vacation each year could be possible. Kinda cool....as long as you pay off your bill! 0% credit cards

Jesus, the Cat.

In honor of the laughable incident in Sudan*, last night I renamed our cat (Misfit) to Jesus.* I think she likes it and I think God the real Jesus likes it too.* She was given to us by our friends as a house warming gift and as "Abram" became "Abraham" and "Saul" became "Paul," it was only fitting for "Misfit" to become "Jesus."* No word on how Radical Fundamental Christians are handling this news.* fyi: *Sarcasm - Noun - witty language used to convey insults or scorn.

Hejsa means Hello

Did you know: that my blog gets a ton of hits from international readers? wow, huh? Seriously, as a part of my reverse stalking of my readers, I have found that people from Russia, Spain, Switzerland, and just today someone from Denmark (Hejsa!) And speaking of International, another "dyk" is that DialAFlight has Holiday Offers for all budgets. Check it out and come visit the land of the fattened turkey. flights to Florida

Mitt Romney, Bloc Party, and This American Blah

I was listening to NPR last night, "All Things Considered" to be specific, and Mitt Romney was being interviewed by the always annoying Robert Siegel. Mitt was awesome, moody, well spoken, and for the first time, I feel like I might be leaning towards a political candidate. In the end, he basically tells RS that he's an idiot for asking to go more in depth with a question from the CNN/Youtube debates whether Mitt felt the bible was alagorical stories or "the word of God;" Mitt's point: as if this has something to do with being able to lead the nation. He's right. That's why I only like Melissa Block. Some favorite lyrics right now (from Bloc Party's "Little Thoughts"):

This world ain't just m, m, m, made of facts Every half hour is a countdown If it's 'cause of my age then you're a coward If it's 'cause of my age then you're a coward If it's 'cause of my age then you're a coward

And honestly, could "This American Life" be hosted by two more boring people? Ira Glass and Sarah Vowell have the saddest, lonliest sounding voices on radio. (You would recognize Sarah's voice from the hit Movie "The Incredibles"...good lord, I thought it was just for the movie) They have some funny stuff now and again, but seriously, "The American Life" brought to you by XANAX®.

This is the kind of day I'm having...

I'm not sure what David Bowie has to do with my horrible day...but honestly...if I had to dress up like that and dance and sing, I'd want to kick my own ass. I especially like the ending where Bowie tosses the baby up in the air and it's clearly a rag doll of some sorts. too funny.

equally fabulous is a drunk dancing kevin bacon...

A Gaggle of Goodies for Good Boys and Girls

Can you tell I'm in the holiday mood? Can you tell that I'm in the gift giving (and receiving) spirit? This weekend we're going to set up some Christmas decorations that we were gifted for our new place. We have an artificial tree on loan from friends and I'm hoping it turns out ok. The Mrs. has a bridal shower to plan and we banked on the holiday theme to help mitigate some costs. On my wish list, I've discovered a place called OpticsPlanet.com...RIDICULOUS. Binoculars, range finders, scopes, telescopes, sunglasses, goggles. Give me a break, as if I couldn't use an extra set of night vision lenses. So if I'm on your wish list now you know where to go. As for what to get, well, surprise me. Ray Bans wouldn't be a bad idea, since I broke my sunglasses...again.

Go Elf Yourself....

No, that's not code for something dirty. Thanks to the marvels of OfficeMax, you too can be "elfed" and send a funny message to a friend. It's a little silly, but what can I say I've been elfed Check it out at http://www.elfyourself.com/ I expect to receive multiple elfs from viewers at home. I want to see your elf! Funniest elf wins...something!

School Rules

I have like 2 and a half weeks left in school. I cannot wait for this semester to be over. My classes included Anatomy, Accounting, and the Arts in our World....or what I like to call "How to kill any desire to take more classes next semester." The good news is that it IS one step closer to my final year (oh my gosh!) and with Management Information Systems, Math, and Statistics next semester, life couldn't get better............................................ok, they could. The minions are doing well. Staffing continues to be an issue, but that's been the theme of my year. I received a nice little raise at my annual review and a pat on the back. I'll take it, why not? By the way, "It looks likes you could use a little something to do" is never a funny conversation starter with a bank employee. We don't just sit at our windows bored to tears just waiting for customers or because we have nothing else to do. Is there any other job that receives THE WORST small talk banter than a bank teller? no.

The Johnny Depp Debate

I've been thinking about a few movies that have come out in the last few years: "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Finding Neverland". Both of these movies star Johnny Depp at his finest. They're both fantasy films, the latter in part and the former in totality, and required Depp to take on personifications that were completely unlike the actor himself. I enjoyed both movies. "Pirates" was witty, entertaining, and embellishing. "Neverland" was beautiful and nearly flawless in its acting and execution. As Captain Jack Sparrow, Depp literally transformed himself into a loud mouthed and equally drunk pirate captain. I remember reading articles about his kids being embarrassed to go out with him in public during the filming of the movie because he dressed like the captain and everything. “Finding Neverland,” for me, is one, if not, the ultimate film in the Johnny Depp collection. His role as Sir James Matthew Barrie, who created “Peter Pan” is wonderful and inspiring. Check this film out if you have not, it is a tearjerker, be warned, but it is an excellent film, nonetheless. That brings me to a much anticipated movie release for “Sweeney Todd”. This also stars Johnny Depp, who undoubtedly will be transformed once again into a fantastic character that will light up the screen and entertain for its entire running time. visit Sweeney Todd on MySpace visit the official Sweeney Todd movie site

A Wee Bit Wonky in Soggy Town

I have no idea what that title means...I was reading Steinbeck and he used the word "Wonky" and I had to use it ASAP. Last night a near and dear friend stopped by my house and we conversed on many a thing. I have learned to surround myself with people not very much like me and this is no exception. Honestly, people that aren't like yourself are a lot more fun than those just like us. One of my best friends from work in Texas was a super cool Lebanese guy who taught me to laugh things off and not be so aggressive/passionate about things that will only end badly for me. Seriously, it was great advice. He also turned me on to Kahlil Gibran and "The Prophet"...check it out, it's a GREAT book. Anyway, things are good in my neck of the woods. Check back later.

Christmas Coupon Time!

Hey guys, here are some sweet dell coupons and target coupons to save on Christmas gifts. As we're all gearing up for gift giving season, we're all looking to save some cash. online coupons are awesome and help you save a lot of money that online merchants are willing to discount to get your business; that means more money to spend on your loved ones! (that means me :) )

The Anti-Thanksgiving: My Almost Dinner with a Vegan

Let me first say that I have no qualms with the vegan lifestyle. Everyone has their reasoning for why they eat what they eat and I say, do what you want. With that out of the way, I wanted to share a little story: On Tuesday night of this week, my wife received a phone call informing us that there would be an addition to Thanksgiving dinner. Her sister is a exceptionally good at small talking with anyone. She's really friendly and gives everyone a blank slate. Well it turns out she was talking with a man from her church and casually asked what he was doing for Thanksgiving. He said "nothing" and the short of it was that he was now coming to dinner with her to her parents house. There are only two things missing from that story...to very important details...1) the guy is 75 years old. 2) he's a vegan.* *for those of you unfamiliar with veganism (I made that word up), it's more or less the diet lifestyle that prevents you from eating anything that once had a face or anything that comes from something that once had a face, i.e. eggs, milk, butter, chicken, etc........... So let me get this straight, the one meal a year where the sole reason people get together is to ritualistically slaughter a bird, shove bread up it's @ss and bake it, while everyone gorges themselves on variously mashed tubers and can shaped cranberry paste, we invite a guy that has internal moral conflicts about drinking the milk from a cow. Think about it, if you REALLY wanted to be a vegetarian or a vegan any other time no one would, could, or should hassle you for that decision...but it's THANKSGIVING...eat the damn food and be THANKFUL that you're not sitting alone in your house eating kidney beans and bananas. If you'll indulge my one ignorant vegan question: What does the child of a vegan do when it comes to nutrition and mother's milk? That's consuming food from an animal, right? Then why not cow's milk? butter? TURKEY?!?! None of these questions could be answered, unfortunately, because the guy declined to come. I'm sure he anticipated the questions and gawking, so I can't blame him really. I was prepared to bask in the glow of the awkwardness, however. There's always next year.

Pennsylvania 3 - Alex 0

That's the score for how many windshields I've gone through since I moved back to PA in 2004. First of all, I can't believe it's been that long and secondly, THREE WINDSHIELDS!!!!!! I had a conversation on Thanksgiving about this topic and there was much debate on whether my insurance would cover this incident or whether I'd be paying ANOTHER 300 bucks out of pocket... Well I found a couple links to help me in my search. I'm hoping that my insurance, which I was led to believe was very comprehensive and quality, will cover such an annoying cost. I might have to rethink my policy in January when it comes due. as always, enjoy the links: Home insurance Car insurance pet insurance

CGI Haters Count Your Blessings

from Dave White (the critic from movies.com)

Who cares if it's all motion-capture and digital effects? It's not like you can do a live-action movie where someone fights a real sea monster. You're lucky you live right now instead of a hundred years ago when they had polio and no 3-D.

I love it and he really like Beowulf. I can't wait to see it. I've been on sort of a self-imposed movie drought. I know it's kind of hard to believe, but we bankers don't get to take home our inventory at the end of the day. That'd be sweet, right? Nay, I barely bring home a fraction of what we keep in the lock box. Thems the breaks, I suppose.

A Post Fellowship Group Thought

I wrote this down during our home study tonight:

I'm tired of trying to be the smartest person in the room. I don't want to be that person anyway if I think about it. I want to be satisfied with the discoveries of God's word in community; those moments when like a kid at Christmas I get just a little closer to figuring out what God has in store for me.

Maybe that's not much to you, but if you're constantly trying to maintain that "perfect" appearance and the "calculated" answer to everything and it's leaving you really empty and tiring you out...it makes sense to me. Two songs you should check out both by my friend Ross: "Veil the Last Discoveries" and "Smartest Person in the Room". The former will make you laugh and the latter will make you cry... at yourself, preferably. and just because I can, head over to my friend Jim's blog. (Fellowship group? home study? email and we'll talk)

Saudi Princes and 8-bit Nintendos = The day before Science is Neat Saturday!

Tech-mo-logy: if discarded 8-bit nintendos banded together and came back to rule the earth. As for actual technological relevant facts: Ever wonder what the differences are between LCD and Plasma? Lay people go here and look for quick guide to LCDs and Plasma in the first paragraph. Interesting to say the least. (there is a segway, trust me...not: The verbal kind.) Anyway... What would you do if you had a million dollars? The obvious answer: two chicks at the same time. hint: (highlight the "blank" spot). Ok, hotshot, what would you do if you had 300 million dollars? retire forever? Well, Prince Alwaleed bin Talal decided to buy the world's largest jumbo jet. Granted, he has billions of dollars at his fingers, so this is really just a drop in the bucket, but wow. Some of the details: After they remove the seats, this 5000 sq ft "building" (which apparently has a wing span a football field) will have a sauna, dinning facility and a movie theater. Oh yeah, and it'll take about 15 people just to run the whole john. wow, again. So that got me thinking: if I was able to upgrade something in my house (addition, new appliances, etc) what room would I do? well, I would definitely like a new kitchen, but adding an entertainment room would be awesome. What would you need? Awesome seating would be key. Sound, lighting and the system itself. One component that I'd need to look into would be audio visual projectors. I don't know a lot about them, so what I'd need to do was find a company that specialized in high end A/V equipment. One company that seemed to have it together was Reflex Ltd. From their site, I found about all sorts of things audio/visual. Remember the LCD/Plasma issue? (ah, the segway) Well, LCD pictures start to lose lots of contrast and color when viewed at an angle. Pretty much all plasma screens, on the other hand, retain their quality up to around 160 degrees. Who knew? Now we all do. Well, I don't have a million dollars, let alone 300, so I don't really have to worry about this stuff. But I maintain, it's always good to learn and look into things because you never know. have a good one, ab.

Much Needed Day Off

Working all day on Saturday means a full day off during the week. I usually pick Fridays since the Mrs has off that day too. It's a wonderful chance to sleep in and get a bunch of stuff done around the house. Today was no exception. I've doing a bunch of projects online like readying a certain blogger's new website (details to follow) and blogging for cash (look back a couple weeks ago for my post on that opportunity). Anyway, music always gets me through those times...that's why I included a music player on my site here. here's what I've been into lately: Mat Kearney: Nothing Left to Lose Bloc Party: Little Thoughts, Like Eating Glass, Pioneers, Banquet, She's Hearing Voices, and Blue Light. good times.

Shameless Self-Promotion

I was talking to my oldest brother yesterday about our ever-expanding attempts to make more or less "easy" money on the internet. The usual came up: ads, payperpost, etc. Something I was thinking about was taking advertising to a "real world" level. That's when I came across www.ooprint.com and their promotion to create free business cards so that I can hand out to people to read my blog. It takes the "cloud word" approach and applies it to the business card model. here's a sample of what mine might look like: for your own Free blogger cards <---click the link.

iTunes blows...no, seriously, it does.

I don't want the uber-nerds to come tell me everything I did wrong and I know that "the new iTunes" is supposedly free from this problem, but... iTunes is horrible. I downloaded a new album a week and a half ago that I still haven't listened to because I still have a dial-up connection (shut it, uber-nerds, I know that it's not Apple's fault). So my big plan was to download said album at work and "transport it" via my flash drive to my home PC...no big deal, right? well, YES, big deal. Apparently, I've used up my 5 "authorized" PCs that I'm allowed to play this music on. Well, guess what...I haven't even listened to this album ONCE yet, let alone get around to 5 computers to do so. So I'm left scrounging around iTunes' support pages (remember my dial up problem?) looking for the holy grail known only as iTunes plus.... This is why people download music for free: BECAUSE IT'S SO DAMN EASY. p.s......if this album is lame, I'm pulling the plug and boycotting Apple for good.

To Celebrate 100 Posts!

Hehehehe, I love it.

My "Family Guy" Issue

a) Seth McFarlane by all accounts is a major douche - minus 30pts b) We get it, you like to use really obscure pop culture references to make your show "funny" and "weird". - 45 pts because the simpsons did it and south park at least has brains c) Homer > Peter, but Lois > Marge. minus 10 pts because homer rules and peter just comes off like a deek, but Lois, for a cartoon, is kinda hot (is that weird?....*pretend they didn't notice, Alex*) +25pts ok, so the points are arbitrary. (really?) Really. I just never got into the show, especially after seeing interviews with McFarlane. (But don't you think you'd hate a lot of celebrities and/or creators if you really knew them) Well sure, but that applies to anything and I would argue works in the converse argument as well. Honestly, I think that at some point the show will become so random that one day at it's apex they'll wake up and find that the show is voiced by raccoons and all about the fundamentals of basketball...oh, but Stewie will still want to kill Lois. who's with me?

Life on Mars and Online Coupons

Online Coupons have always amazed me. It was actually an idea I "thought" I came up with until I realized that there were already a million sites that do just that. In fact, I'm convinced that if and when astronauts do land on Mars, they may or may not find life there, but they WILL find clipper coupon magazines. (the subtle punch line of the joke: They're everywhere and in places you wouldn't expect them) The goal then is to find a decent online coupon source and check it daily. I have found deals on turbotax and dell that I've used before and saved lots of money. Just thought I'd share in case anyone was debating this option. Here a few examples: Dell coupons 123Inkjets coupon codes

Awesome-nicity: Pez and his Camera

My friend Pez has a way cooler job than I do, and he made this video on a recent photo shoot. The jist: 1 frame per 10 seconds = awesomeness.

Enjoy

My only question: How did he get people to walk like "the robot" though? (The answer: Pez is the man)

A Personal Finance Story

I had a kid in my office this week who ran into some financial trouble. Thankfully, it wasn't major, but it was enough to give him a scare. I was able to help him out and give him, what is called "Education". (It's a term that I've picked up from the Mrs and her nutrition counseling). So as I talked to this kid, I realized that no one had really given him the answers he was looking for. He asked me about what "APR" meant, the difference between "platinum" and "classic" credit cards, and a number of other things. It got me thinking that there are probably thousands of college bound (probably older individuals as well) who have NO IDEA what credit, debit, and other important terms mean, how they affect their lives, and the over all picture of good financial health. Here is a Great Article for Students who might be worrying about their future or have questions about their financial futures. ----- On a personal note, around six years ago, I found myself with around 4-5k in credit card debt between 3 credit cards; I was becoming just another statistic. I had talked to a friend who found himself in a similar situation and he recommended, Care One Credit counseling. Over a two year period I worked myself almost completely out of debt. It was awesome to see how I turned my failing credit into excellent credit in a few short years. Here are a few pointers of my own that I've picked up along the way that I give to people with questions: 1) Keep up the communication - your creditors can't help you if you don't talk to them. More often than not they ARE willing to help you avoid ruining your credit...why? because you're more likely to PAY them back! 2) Keep up on your minimum payments and MAKE THEM ON TIME - The most important thing is to make payments on time. It helps to show creditors that you are responsible. yes, in the short term you're just paying off interest, but over time, you'll work your way back down to principle. 3) Balance your BUDGET! (and cut the fat)- You don't know how much money you spend or how much money you have left over at the end of the month if you don't put it on paper. Remember, paper is always better than your memory. Learn Excel or ask a friend to help you balance your budget and get rid of some of those loose ends, like do you REALLY NEED that $50 subscription to ESPN the Magazine AND the $300 pay per view package to watch the NFL? (no) ok, go out there and get 'em. If anyone wants a starter budget (in excel) drop me a line and I'll help you out. And in case anyone has any questions about debt management options, click on the link.

Broken Down Car....

Hooray for broken down cars!!!!

"False" Actually, boo to broken down cars. Our Ford Escort POS broke down last night. We are awaiting "the news". I'd love to get something to replace it...preferably 4WD. Alas, the budget monsters do not agree. damn you, dwight.

Band of Brothers, Damien Lewis, and Stephen King's "The Mist"

We started watching Band of Brothers this weekend. I've seen it a couple times, but the Mrs has not at all. I am forcing her through all 10+ hours of World War II goodness and agony. I love all of the characters and whether or not the real life versions were anything like the portrayals does not matter to me. They're all heroes (the real lifers, not the actors) although....Damien Lewis is a great actor. Right now he's on a show called "Life" which I haven't checked out, but right after the whole Band of Brother buzz, Damien was in a movie called "Dream Catcher"...which incidentally is a Stephen King book. I remember going to this movie specifically because of Lewis and Jason Lee, who before his stardom in "My Name is Earl" I was a big fan of. Check out "Mumford". Anyway, the film was chock full of stars and had an interesting enough plot. I'm not usually a big "gore" fan and this wasn't really that kind of film, but had elements of face chomping aliens. I won't spoil the movie, but it was decent enough. So it turns out that Stephen King has a new movie out called "The Mist". I haven't heard much about it but King's creativity will surely transcend "The Lawnmower Man" disaster. I'm looking forward to see how the critics treat this new film and I will pass on my thoughts when I see it. Here's a link if you want to look into it more: The Mist by Stephen King

An Old Habit of Fear That I Might Carve Too Straight a Line.

That's a line from my brother's song "Prospects". It's easily my favorite song he's written and easily in my top 25 songs I've listened to. If you knew my relationship with my brother and my thoughts on music (let alone anything) that's not just a brother bragging on a brother. Aside from the "Bake ourselves a cake" line, I pretty much find it flawless ;) Anyway, just thought I'd share. If you don't know about Ross King same things goes for him: in his case, enjoy "Smartest Person in the Room". ab.

My Dental Experience

I have a funny story that ends with an interesting product I've found. First the story, then the picture, and finally the product.

When I was about 15, my family was in California, which we did almost every year basically my whole life because my parents were both from SoCal. We visited the new Six Flags water theme park and were enjoying the "lazy river" ride at the time, when I decided, "why not go under the water to get really wet?" As I proceeded to dive under the water, I suddenly found myself swept under by the feirce current and knocked my face on the bottom of the "pool". Basically what happened was as the water pulled me along, it grinded down one of my front teeth, exposing the nerve and causing A TON of pain.

Here's a diagram to better explain, because I know no one believes me:

---------top of the water--------

slow moving water - - - ->

---------------------------------

FAST MOVING WATER------------->

______Bottom of the "pool"___

Anyway, this is me at a Dodger's game after the incident, you can see the chip in my tooth.

The frustrating thing I have had to deal with since getting it capped, was that every now and again, I lose the cap on something hard I eat and am forced to "deal" until I can see the dentist.

No longer my friends...here's why:

Dentemp O.S.® is a product that solves those issues by providing short term, fast action. I don't have to suffer through annoying "hick" jokes when I have to go out in public with a chipped tooth or go through the agony of a exposed nerve.

Dentemp O.S. is:

Developed by a Dentist

It's Easy!

It's Strong

Fully FDA Approved: Provides fast, temporary relief of pain and discomfort. Just remove it from its plastic vial and it's ready to use.

No Mess!

No Mixing!

Several Applications in each vial.

Replaces lost fillings and may be used to temporarily cement loose crowns.

You can eat on it within 30 minutes of setting.

All products have been tested and fully comply with FDA Regulations for Oral Care.

Dentemp OS

Woah...

I woke up with a chill in my bones: winter is knocking our door. I also woke up with a headache: one of those that feels like someone is continuously cranking a vice around your head. On the upside, the Mrs and I signed up for a Mutual Fund today with American Funds. Highly Recommended. Supplemental income and saving for the future is not being pushed enough in today's society. The brightest side: it's an early day. Things are looking up.

Pondering the Articles of Incorporation

Not to be confused with The Articles of Confederation for you history buffs...then again, if you were a history buff you certainly would not make that mistake. So as my oldest brother and I contemplate world domination via the internets with our highly secretive project that I've only told to every single person I've run in to, we must consider our options for forming a company to work under. There are many things to consider when choosing to partake of forming a company. The first is probably the easiest: money. The easiest way to save money these days is e-commerce. The second thing to consider is whether to go with a big company or a small Internet company. My moral compass tells me that going with the smaller company helps out the small guy more than the big company would, I mean, that's why I'm getting into all of this stuff in the first place. A company that I came across via Payperpost.com, is incparadise.com. A well organized company out of Nevada that specializes in cheap, efficient incorporation and documents of all sorts. Some of the interesting offers I found were: First if you like we can offer you free forms: We can also prepare the whole set of documents for only $20-$25.

Another interesting point is that they also have blog where they try to answer questions people have about incorporating and other related topics at: www.incparadise.com/news free llc forms

Things I can never forgive....

1) People who walk around in public with their cell phone ear piece in. (there are lots of subsets to that one, but more or less, the whole cell phone ear piece drives me crazy) 2) People patting me on the back (literally) because they think that because I'm a big guy [6'3" 2 hundred-something :) ] that I must LOVE back pats. I do not love back pats. (again, more subsets. My least favorite: the sneak attack slap) 3) The day that Jason Giambi signed with the New York Yankees. I used to like him, now I don't. 4) Myself, for voting for George W. Bush....TWICE. and finally..... 5) The Saturday Morning I was first introduced to "Go Diego, Go"... Specifically the episode where Diego rescues a baby chinchilla. Why? because the hack actor that voiced the baby chinchilla gave it a super annoying baby cry morphed thru some Pro tools 7.0 digital distorter...it was like taking a baby's cry and mixing it with someone's REALLY bad guess at what they might think a chinchilla might sound like (because you know the actor was like...a chincill-what?) if were trapped on branch over a rapid filled river... My only question: do we really need our kids one more annoying sound to imitate? Thank God for the writer's strike, right?

Romo Arigato!!

I don't know how this became a sports blog all of a sudden, but I think it's probably due to the greater accessibility of TV in my life than in previous years. (I had taken a sort of self-imposed break from cable tv, yes, I know....crazy talk. But after marathon sessions of "Flavor of Love" and countless MTV dating shows, it was time.) So living in PA, especially living so close to Philly, allows me a front row seat to the agony that is Philadelphia sports teams and their fans. More specifically, it was a blast coming into work today and watching the minions vent over their Dallas Cowboy frustrations... I just have one comment and then I'm done: You're not mad at the Cowboys, who are a CLEARLY better team than the Eagles, you're mad at Andy Reid and company for running a lousy ship. My advice is dismantle the whole dang thing while Brian Westbrook is still healthy and in his prime...otherwise you'll have wasted a GREAT backs career on lost hopes like Donovan McNabb.

A Case for A-Rod...(5 Reasons Alex Rodriguez doesn't deserve your crap)

If you follow sports with even a half-hearted attempt, you undoubtedly have heard about A-Rod's decision to opt-out of his current contract, and therefore, all but sealing his departure from the Yankees. Take it or leave it, in the end, anyone and everyone would make the same decision. here's a few reasons why I don't blame Alex Rodriguez for leaving the Yankees: 1) Joe Torre is gone. With Torre's ousting, it pretty much leaves a big ? over the whole system, which seems to be a good enough to get into the playoffs, but not good enough to win the whole thing. (free agency didn't win the Yankees WS even when they DID win.) 2) He'd always be "Robin" to Derek Jeter's "Batman". Say what you want, it'll always be Jeter's team. Not that there aren't more important things in sports, but respect was never given, especially in a place like New York. (which brings me to #3) 3) Playing in New York is overrated. Let's be honest, only in Baseball is playing in New York the "it" place. Even then, Ichiro is KING in Seattle and Jason Veritek is practically a saint in Boston. The player can make his place in the team's hometown. A-Rod will be a HOFer regardless of where he played, so... 4) I'm not convinced that $$$ is his only reason to leave. What motivation does A-Rod have to stay in NY? Even if he would win a WS, it would be seen as a check mark on his resume rather than something to be heralded like Mike Scioscia and the Angels or Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox. Besides Sometimes is just time to move on. That's the beauty of baseball. Free Agency allows you to move around until you find your niche. Case in point: Curt Schilling. I'm sure he really enjoyed his time in Arizona, where he pitched some of his best games, including World Series wins. As soon as he arrived in Boston, it just seemed right. 5) Get over yourselves. This last point is all about the jealous factor. What person in their right mind wouldn't take the opportunity to leave their current job at the top of their game with a 100% GUARANTEE that you're either A) going to be the richest person ever to be in your position. EVER. or, B) have such incredible leverage for "perks" that probably would include everything from free meals to free pet grooming and use of the company's private jet. Honestly, why wouldn't you choose to move on? So please, everyone just get over it. A-Rod is disliked because he makes an incredible amount of money, is unapologetic about his status in life, and has a bastard of an agent. So what? Any one of us would play their hand the same way...like doubling down on "11."

Lemon Beagles and Apple Cider....and then.....

You can't get much better than an office visit from the new guy's puppy; The only thing that can remotely compete is:

Is Apple Cider a northeast thing? or does the rest of the world get to join in this brown, tangy delight? seriously. amazing. And as if it couldn't get better they sell these bad boys in 1 QT sizes: imagine a normal sized gallon container shrunk down to fit in your hand. I know, right? The upside of apple cider: if you let it sit around long enough it turns into apple cider vinegar, which of course has many uses. I will conclude today's thoughts with the story of when Alex left all of his dirty dishes at work and had to wash them 4 days later...it's called "The day when Alex left his dirty dishes at work and had to wash them 4 days later (the ping pong song)" It goes something like this: One day I came home with a bag of tupperware dishes that I had left at work for a few days. I've done this before, so no big deal really. I just scower them in hot soapy water and scrub 'em down. (that's what she said). Here in lies the problem. One of my containers held milk from last week, which had now become some nasty cheese like entity. I've had some experience with spoiled milk before and some crazy thought came over me that as I threw it out in the woods behind our house, why not take a whiff. DO NOT TAKE A WHIFF OF NASTY WEEK OLD SKIM MILK THAT HAS BEEN LOCKED UP AND FESTERING, UNLESS YOU WANT TO VOMIT ALL OVER YOURSELF. enough said. ok, I didn't really puke, but honestly, I've never been closer to that simply by a smell in my life. G-NAS-TEA. ok, now enough said.

Wow. Just Wow.

No Words... Just Go Safe for Work.

It has come to my attention that numerous co-workers of mine have discussed buying some of these to see what they do. Seriously? hundreds of dollars for a bunny that lights up and reads you your email?

I will now be taking bids on dressing up in this years halloween costume (I was a bunny, the mrs was a carrot...true story) and reading people their emails... bidding starts and $100 bucks!

I Signed Up for "PPP"...which isn't as dirty as it sounds.

PayPerPost.com is a nifty little site that will pay me to post my thoughts on different things. I know what you are thinking. NO ALEX! But rest assured, I will try to keep it on target as not to lose my audience; but if you notice that my posts are weirdly cohesive and actually about something substantial, you will know something's up. The gist of it is that I signed up on their site and once my blog is approved, I choose from lists of opportunities to write my thoughts and reviews on these topics. Sounds simple enough. I will keep you up to date on how this works. It is an interesting venture to say the least. I am not in this game to necessarily make money hand over fist; however, I am always intrigued by the possibility of subsidizing other opportunities. Currently, those opportunities include: saving for a Disney trip, saving for a new electric guitar, a new acoustic guitar, a new mic to record with, a couple guitar pedals, and paying off a few debts in the process. I can dream at least. So, I hope this service is “as advertised.” I would love to write back in three months raving about the results. In the mean time, enjoy. payperpost

Just When I Thought America Couldn't Get Any Dumber...

They go and TOTALLY REDEEM themselves! FREE TACO DAY!! (post script) did anyone actually take care of this? Global warming took a hit the next 24 hours with all that extra methane. I heard on NPR (so it's gotta be true) that methane is something like 19x worse for the environment than CO2. True Story. So shouldn't there be a crack down (oooh, pun intended!!) on burritos? chew on that for a while...(puns are tasty)

Feedburner, Stalkers, and More

I've been learning about humility left and right. I get it. I'm not the bees knees. actually, I kind of wrote a song about it. (RK, the hits keep coming..)

You're not laughing at me, but I'm finding out I'm not even close And you've helped me to see I'm finding out I've been off for a long, long time.

that' kind of the chorus. I like it. It's kind of pop, kind of angst folk rock. It's got potential.

It's been one of those days that makes you want to stay in bed and watch scrubs reruns...for hours upon hours. Wet, cold, achy. anyway. just thought I'd share. oh by the way, it's been really fun to see who comes to my site. Apparently I have fans in a couple different cities around the US like in Maryland and South Carolina, Ohio, Texas, and California. Feedburner is multi-faceted website that ads stuff to blogger like what I call "reverse stalker"(both owned by the mighty Google). It tracks who comes to my site (city only), don't worry I won't be able to find you. Sunday is my first week back playing in the "just one part of the greater thing we call worship" team. That's what I call it at least. I could go on a rant, but brother JP did an excellent job for me when he pointed out that "there are no less than 12 different aspects of worship during our service this week, one of them being music". Too funny. too true. that's all I've got for now. <><

[SCRUBS] is coming!!!!

24 hours until the premiere!

"Spazbot" and "Dork@ss"

For the record, these are considered personal attacks by the powers that be. Unless, of course, you ARE one of the powers that be...then it's ok. Thankfully this is an "e-experience" and not a "real world experience". I mean, what would we do if real life were this ridiculously biased and hypocritical? /sarcastic rant.

Did you know? & What if I had a sitcom

I just caught myself reading about Survivor: China... did you know that they still made reality shows? seriously, hasn't this trend passed by now? but I guess neither has the "he/she was funny in a movie so let's give him/her a show loosely based on their life on the UPNCWTBS station. The "hood" and/or rural Arkansas isn't as funny as you think it is. Which got me thinking: what would my show be called if I some how made it big as a comedian and they threw a 9pm Tuesday night slot on CBS at me. Here's your answer: First of all, it definitely would star me and it would definitely have my name in the title, something like: "The Alex Burdine Super Happy Fun Train Show" or "Alex Burdine Explains it All" or "Kaleidoscopes and Pancake Mix with Alex Burdine." You get the idea. My name and everything else is tertiary, at best. Secondly, I would want my three brothers to be in the show. It's easy enough to know why I'd have my brothers in the show if you've met any of them. I, and I do this with humility, have to say that my brothers are cooler than anyone else's brothers. There's enough humor, cultural understanding, angst, and need for attention for the four of us to entertain any room. oh, and Russel Crowe and Will Sasso: here's why: some days I feel like Russel Crowe: awesome, cool, and charming. Other days I'm Will Sasso: goofy, overweight, and, well, still charming. Why those two? Two Reasons: #1) I've been told repeatedly that I kinda look like those guys. #2) as a part of the show, I don't plan on actually acting in the show. I would, however, do both voice overs and walk ons as an unseen participant that can freeze and unfreeze time. Instead, these guys (depending on the situation my character was in, would play me) I'm sure these guys would buy in. the show: Here's how a typical show goes down: title credits: montage of Russell/Will and my brothers fighting crime in a Miami Vice tribute style with Herb Alpert's "Rise" playing show opening: the show opens with a live audience and me welcoming everyone to this week's show followed by a brief monologue which will involve my brothers and I setting up that week's story. the meat: Ranging from awkward dating situations to funny inside stories that has happened to me, my family, or my friends to political commentary and satire. My show will be 22 minutes of awesomeness. At different times, I will be there to stop things and guide the story along and get in my last say. It is MY show. Regardless of the embarrassing situation or story, I deserve to have my final word. the resolution: every good show has a resolution. My show will end with moral wrap up of the story told, for instance:

and so we all learned that living in Texas has its definite perks: 1600 miles away from New Jersey drivers, unlimited meat products, and some really cool wildlife. But in the end, if you don't close the gates, your cat will probably end up half eaten by coyotes.

closing: some awesome band will close us with one of their songs in studio, just because that's what needs to happen on any cool show. Preferably, it's a song that was written just for my show and for the topic at hand. THE END. Some day I'll write an episode and post it online. tell me what you think some time. it'd be the best show on earth. don't deny it.

The Presidential "Make Up Call"

So you know when everyone thought that Al Gore was this stiff tree of a man and unlikable and then lost a pretty close election riddled with amateur, at best, vote counters? Well, it's like the apple trees from the Wizard of Oz took some happy pills and the stiff guy kinda lightened up. He grew a beard and then shaved that beard. He made jokes about being the president and then stopped. And now he's campaigning against Global Warming and even won some cool awards. I can't say one way or another that Al Gore isn't a douche in real life, but he certainly is spending his time doing meaningful things. So here's how I'm feeling at the moment: I feel like saying "my bad" Al...my bad. In other words...If Al Gore ran for president, I would vote for him. Sure there are a million questions to be asked how he would have handled 9/11, terrorism, etc... but at this point, now that there's a democratic congress, and aside from simply voting for a historical candidate (a woman or a black man: both of whom really aren't ready for the Presidency anyway), let's just give it to the guy that probably deserves it most. So Al Gore, if you decide to run for President. You have my blessing and my vote.

Poor Yoda: Caption this Picture

I'm not going to tell you the context of this picture, but please instead submit a caption for this picture.

P.S. if you actually end up venturing to www.lisashea.com you probably will laugh, cry, and be astounded all at the same time.

(both a criticism and a compliment)

Dave White - Movies.com

read him here

"P.S. — Dear '80s-Themed Movies, stop pretending mullets weren't everywhere."

Awesome.

Arrested Development

I've made a huge mistake...in a galaxy far, far away.

A Moment of Silence/Why Living in East BFE Sucks

I arrived at work this morning only to find this in my email box...it is, in fact, the saddest email I've ever received:

I arrived home late tonight/early this morning at 1:15AM from a late night network change just in time to chase off two coyotes in the driveway....I know totally cool to see them 'cause they look neat right?...No...totally shitty because I chased them away before they could finish eating the rear half of Milo. So please bow your heads in a moment of silence to remember that sad little misunderstood cat. Half of him is in a better place....half is in a tightly closed trash bag outside the house. Sorry for the gallows humor...I'm finishing my third beer and heading to bed. James

Cornhole v. Washers

this is not a prison movie coming to a theater near you... but two of the neatest, redneckiest games around: Washers Cornhole enjoy.

The Man Looks Serious

What is it with Church Websites?

I was doing a Google search for Lehigh Valley churches/vision/unity stuff for my "Vision for the Valley" project...and I stumbled upon yet ANOTHER patheti-blan-gusting (I couldn't find the right word to fit how I felt, so "pathetic, bland, and disgusting" unite as one super description.) church website. It was so ridiculous that it begged the question: Why do church websites almost universally suck? Why must they look so boiled down, neutral, inoffensive and boring? I get it on one level, because there are two exceptions to this rule: Money = cool website, i.e. the mega church website or Unusually Creative Church Member = cool website. The former is not fool proof, but it's nearly guaranteeing at least visual organization beyond that of a 4th grader. The latter is generally limited by resources anyway. I'm not trying to call out freelance (emphasis on the FREE, I would assume) web designers, but at the same time, do we really need to continue the legacy of "church = safe". And it's probably not their fault...some committee created some lowest common denominator ideas and it prevailed as "acceptable". But stick with me to understand what I'm saying and what I'm not. I believe the church should and NEEDS to be a place where we can freely (grace) share who we are with other keepers of the way (I love that term). We need transparency and a free environment to be real, to feel real. Otherwise we're just playing bumper cars and just ramming into the walls we've built. There is difference between "church = safe" and "church = grace". Safe gives us the idea of a castle...protection. Grace allows for freedom. Grace levels the playing field. Grace gives the shopping addict the same "hand" as the Gossip, the Luster, the lethargic, the cynic, the pharisee, etc. We don't need to be surprised by sin and shocked when people share their struggles. If we concern ourselves with a safe environment we focus on protecting our surroundings, so the biker couple who put out their cigarettes before entering the church might threaten our man made sanctuary (the environment, not the building) If we are grace focused we will see that same couple as equals and ripe for relationships. We can meet them at wherever they are. Real-ity (reality) becomes the way of life. What does that have to do with websites? You know the phrase: don't judge a book by its cover? well, I'm not convinced that applies to church websites... I'm just sayin'©

Darth Vader is a Jerk

:)

G-O-Inappropriate

*giggle*

(hint: think 13 year old boy humor)

Rolling Along and Super Shaker Strikes!

Today was a weird one. Came in late. Working like 8 OT hours this week. The $$ will be nice at least. We're adding a few minions over the next few days. Minions with super powers, so my work load will diminish. All good things. So the only thing I can think of is a rant I had last year this time: My rant: I'm not wild OCD guy that can't shake someone's hand, in fact, I have to do this on a regular basis because of my job, but my rant involves hygiene. I've shared this rant with a few relatives and was lambasted for my post-modern views...whatever. Here goes......... The Mrs and I were going to pre-marital counseling at a large church in the area that had a professional counseling center. It was group counseling and wasn't half as bad as it sounds. Every Sunday morning for 10 weeks we went to this church and enter the same doors near the large parking lot. Every Sunday morning for 10 weeks the same guy tried to shake my hand and everyone else's hand that walked through the door. The first few weeks I obliged and shook the guys hand. And then...one week I was in the middle of a cold or just over coming one and I decided that for the sake of other people, I would not shake the guys hand. Imagine this, people come to be healed spiritually, but leave on their death bed because super-shaker needs to get his hand grip fix for the week. On my way to the door from my car, I intentionally filled my hands with things so I could not shake the guy's hand. He looked lost as I slowly walked inside and greeted him with a hello and a head nod. I've never seen someone so lost in their life. What was he to do? Was he trying to break a hand shaking streak and I was the one person to stop him? Did this guy so blatantly disregard other people's health for his personal quest for handshaking legalism? and who's the crazy person? :)

"Ultimate Frisbee": When Adjectives Attack

I've been thinking about something: Ultimate Frisbee. We spent 2 hours on Sunday rawkin' and rollin' and as described in yesterday's post, I'm feeling it because of the power of the anti-hippie was coursing through my veins. Here's my problem: The hippies call it "ULTIMATE FRISBEE". But honestly, is it REALLY that Ultimate? Unless you're playing suspended above a shark's tank with explosions all around you, it's really just regular old frisbee with excessive amounts of running. But I suppose it's about perspective: If you're a hippie, your typical day revolves around not bathing, eating cheetos, and smoking weed. So, simply running around, in the day light no less, launching a plastic disc at high speeds towards your friends skull really IS ultimate. You can learn a lot from a hippie®

Ben Gay, 80's Movie Theme Songs, and Rabid Dogs

A group of friends played the Hippie Non-Sport of Ulitmate Frisbee for like 2 hours yesterday. I contend the more I make fun of how non-sportish this game is, the better I play. It's like all the non-hippie-ness power in the world is harnessed in me and I rawk this game hard. The unfortunate by-product of this phenomenon is the chronic aches and pains I feel in the hours following. What's that you say? No, it's a non-sport...it has nothing to do with exercise. That's crazy talk. ----- We're sitting in church yesterday morning and start to sing this song called "Amazing Love" written by some guy in the 80s. I swear to you that it was originally written for Superman 3 and all the composer did was change the lyrics to something spiritual.

Amazing Superman what a sacrifice He came from planet Krypton Son of JOR-EL, is on T.V. Lois Lane, is his main Squeeze And fights for me, He fights for me.

-----

Try this while watching TV: take the music and and lyrics to the commercial you're watching and add "and here's my rabid dog"... anytime that commercial shows a dog on the screen.

I promise, you'll laugh.

Science is NEAT! saturday.

Hooray! Woolly mammoth hair yields 'fantastic' DNA - Jurrassic Park takes one step closer! Boo! Microsoft to extend XP sales for five months - Just when we're used to XP not sucking, they go and kill it off. At least it was given 5 more months to live. Huh? Robot Maker builds artificial boy - A NAMBLA joke would be too easy. Awesome... 'Hot' Ice Could Lead To Medical Device - I have no idea what it means, but I think Icy-Hot might sue for copyright infringment.

I have to come clean...

This is the first time in a few weeks that I've had more than 20 minutes to myself at work. The bank is getting their fair share of work out of me for once. I have to come clean about something...I'm not ashamed to admit this, but I'm not proud either. It's kinda un-hetero, but whatever. so here I go.... I like Enrique Iglesias' "Do you know (the ping pong song)"...there, I said it.... ....I like it so much that I've played it on repeat multiple times over the last week. I have a few people to blame, but that list will remain locked in the angst vault that motivates me to write. ok, now I can go breathe easier. I've outed myself. I've ended my self-hating ways. I'm done now.

"Kid Movies"

By Dave White...reviewing "The Game Plan"

If you've spent a long time daydreaming about that special day when someone would put a new twist on Kindergarten Cop and The Pacifier, then your dream has finally come true. And if I had an elementary-school-aged female child in my life, I'd be first in line with her at the multiplex. To see Dragon Wars. Because kids don't need any more movies in their lives that remind them of how special they are and how dumb adults need to be educated on matters of responsible parenting. Kids need giant monster-fighting movies.

Cannabrothagetanamen?!?

Contrarian: The Office US v. UK Debate

Ok, it's not a surprise that I have opinions and lots of them. Spend 5 minutes with me and it's not hard to see the quiet passion rumbling underneath. (although that's probably last night's burrito, but you get what I mean) So it should surprise you that I have an opinion on "The Office". I've been called a contrarian because of my passionate and well established view that "The Office UK" is the superior of the two shows. I've never been so hurt in my life........ok, excessive. It did make me think a little. I had a killer taco salad today, in case anyone is wondering. So, I decided to watch the first season of "The Office US" and attempt to remain as unaffected and prejudice free as possible. It took me until episode three to make me laugh. Literally, the first three episodes are a disgusting "High School Musical" versioin of the original. The good: Rainn Wilson pretty much makes the show. His take on the office psychopath/uber-nerd pretty much exceeds that of his UK counterpart. Not that Garreth is out done, just that he is that good. Episodes 4-6 of season 1 are fun and I laughed a lot. Mission accomplished. I am a fan. To call the US version superior would be foolish. It's less documentary looking, it spends more time interviewing "the office members" instead of just allowing the ultra-awkward moments to just seep through your bones. That being said, I watched last night's season opener and laughed start to finish. And here's the answer to the light versus dark beer, Les Stroud versus Bear question... The US office is better because of volume. It's the same reason why Arrested Development is only my second favorite show next to Scrubs....lack of episodes. The Office US is working on its fourth season and with that comes experiementation and character development. Dwight putting the cat into the freezer and clawing its way through a bag of frozen french fries is pretty much the funniest thing I've ever heard. "I'm not responsible for that!"

Reading Was Rawked; Lancaster Was Lit Up

I went in a time machine on Thursday and Sunday nights. I went back to a time where the power to ROCK! reigned. My friend Ross King, asked me to play a few shows and I, of course, complied. (And by "asked me" I mean "I begged him"...for the record). Leading up to the gigs, I told the Mrs. that cleaning, eating, and over-all relationshiping would be put on the back burner. She was elated.....not. Thursday night, we played to a crowd of 50 (a generous estimate). We, of course, rawked and rawked hard. We played songs from his new record, which, of course, rawks. I actually never played acoustic and sang harmonies before, but it worked out quite well. I met Michael from community church fame. We had a good time discussing Arrested Development and Scrubs. I mean, he could drown puppies for fun, but love those two shows and you're hip like flip to me. Sunday Night wasn't as good sonically, but from the rockin' stand point we gave them what they were looking for. The Hempfield UMC crew have a NICE church. Their youth group was easily 100+ kids. They had a video introduction for Ross based on "Apocalypto". It was as awkward and as awesome as it sounds. anywho, I miss playing. I wish I could do it more. At least I have motivation to do the album.

Being a Tease...

The Moral: It's never a good idea to travel alone, much less with no back-up plan in case something goes wrong. I mean, yes, if you're going to Paris you can probably do that solo. But the wilderness? You need a hiking buddy, preferably one you can eat if it comes down to that.

I like Dave White a lot.

Let the Biggens Out! Let the Biggens Out!

Ok, seriously. Nearly a week since my last post. Unheard of. To be fair to me, I've been both simultaneously busy with work (like I've never been before) and preparing for the mother of all gigs. I'll be posting about both events in the near future. In the mean time...enjoy:

"Saturday" Means Recap and Stream of Consciousness

Okay, since I seem to be getting a consistent group of people reading this everyday. (yes, believe it or not, I track that sort of thing...Hello, visitor!) I decided to give you a brief summation of the last few weeks of my life. Saturdays are normally a chance to sit back and watch the minions work. I usually catch up on reports and emails and extra-curricular activities. This falls under the obvious latter category. I started classes a couple weeks ago. I am working towards a B.S. in Business Administration. This degree has eluded me for way too long and honestly my work experience should have counted towards 3/4ths the degree already. In the long run, I will start my MBA as soon as I finish the Bachelors. This process will consume the next 3-4 years of my life, but I have never been more primed to make it happen. This probably has to do with the new motivation of being married. Funny how that works. Church has been immensely stimulating. Our summer series on God's Attributes has been wonderful. I am taking notes constantly through out the sermon. I've never in my life had the blessing of TWO amazing preachers. The Gospel is so alive. Every church has its strengths and weaknesses, that's for sure, and I don't want to make a point to call out places of worship that I've previously attended; However, there is something to be said about strong leadership with a strong, forward-looking vision. And this is a separate rant really, but there are certain things that Mega Churches can accomplish that small churches cannot. Bemoaning the Bill Hybels of the world really seems counterproductive in the Kingdom. Should everyone get a free pass? no, certainly not. Intelligent, critical assessment of places of worship are extremely necessary as they are important.

5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

My favorite part of this Matthew 7 scripture is so often missed because people focus on the defense of the first half. "and THEN you will see clearly" in other words, once you yourself have overcome the thing causing your brother to stumble, HELP YOUR BROTHER!. I'm not exactly sure how I piece those two thoughts together, other than that God is quite possibly disappointed by the way we choose to worship Him. He's probably disappointed in a lot of things about us. The SUVs that destroy our environment, the sweat shop factory clothing that we wear, the destructive, sin trap that is the Internet, and so on and so on. The point is: We're all carbon producing, resource consuming, ego maniacs that focus on ourselves FAR before other people in the end. This isn't a call to arms against our behavior, that kind of Hope is only possible through Christ, it's just an honest assessment. We're all a lot more mediocre than we'd like to admit... (unless you're This Guy). But whatever, that's not really the point. I just want people to stop caring about Big Church, Little Church, Contemporary Worship, and Traditional Music. These things matter, but they are not the end game in the Kingdom. I know some really God Centered people in Texas that do community/church in unique and awesome ways and I know people that are quite happy with the flexibility, reach, and creative license that comes with their "mega" church. It's ALL good as long as people see that church is PARTICIPATORY. "Church isn't a building, it is a community of change" (John Kinyon). As we are called to Christ, we are called to the Ecclesia, and we are called to change/to be transformed/renewed. Anyway, that was a digression of epic proportions. Work has been much more exciting as of late. I say "exciting" because "tolerable" makes it sound like I'm simply "getting through" it all. That's not the case at all. I really do like trying to be the best I can be and working towards becoming a better skilled worker. Really, this is all training for something else down the road. That's meant to extremely broad. And lastly, the marriage...Things are great. Communication is always the key. The cure all: Scrubs Well, that's "all" for now.... Enjoy:

Rant Time Again: Lowermybills.com

I emailed their marketing department once, with no response. Does anyone really click on their obnoxious ads? You must REALLY need them to stop. Here is my email:

To whom this may concern: I can't stand looking at your ads with the dancing people that go back and forth; they are driving me crazy. I don't know what they have to do with lowering my bills, and I don't think you do either. If you're saying that somehow I'm supposed to dance my bills away, trust me, I've tried it and it doesn't work.

You leave me no choice but to have to assume that it is the handiwork of a summer intern with a flair for macro media, because otherwise I'll cry. And I certainly won't be alone in my sobbing, the children will be crying too. Please, think of the children. In the future I hope to not see the dancing people on your ads, because until then, my bills will remain high and I will not be shimmying, twisting, nor mash potato-ing with my wife with the false hopes that they'll be paid by some magical incantation of our swaying hips.

Sincerely,

Alex Burdine, concerned citizen.

Les Stroud: Canadian for "Big Balls"

In theory, I love the outdoors. In practice, I love air conditioning. The other night I had the chance to watch back to back to back episodes of Survivor Man. It was heaven.

Voter Enthusiasm

This is seriously how I feel right now.

The Human Torch Was Denied a Bank Loan...

Those familiar with my story won't be shocked by my daily frustrations with corporate life. Skill set, I know I'm equipped to manage and lead people. Emotionally, I'm a young pitcher on the mound for the first time at Yankee Stadium. Some days I'm cut out for this, other days it's like a Tsunami. It's not wonder why I seek medication...comfort food or feelings. Today is one of those days. 6 ft down...5 different people with shovels in hand...burrying me alive...with paper work, reports, and emails. It won't always be this way. However, stopping to take this kind of moment in is certainly helpful to encourage me to not want to stay here too long. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Yet, even in a day, I can go from distraught to upbeat. The minions are good for that. good job, minions. Perhaps, the Human Torch will receive a counter-offer.

A Start to a Big Week

I'm not sure if you know this...but...this is a big week. Two of the most important men in America will be putting their money with their mouths are and facing off in what could be the BIGGEST EVENT OF THE DECADE. That's right: Kanye West and Fiddy Cent are both releasing albums tomorrow. If that weren't big enough news, Fiddy has announced that if Kanye's album outsells his album during the first week, he'll stop making music. Fiddy, you tease. If Tu-Pac is still making records after being gunned down a decade ago (according to a brother of mine he's living in Cuba now), I'm going out on a limb to guess that Fiddy, regardless of this week's outcome, will be still making money off records for years to come. I for one, will be checking on Billboard.com with baited breathe.

A Return to Sheenanigans...

After a rereshing day off yesterday, I return to the grind. As of 8pm last night I was really primed to come back and change my attitude. If I had to stop and think, I do like my job and I know that I can do it well. I possess all of the attributes appropriate to lead and manage, so I need to stop pretending like I need to be doing something else. Perhaps in the future I can focus on that "something else," like in 4 years when I project to be finished with my BA in Business Admin and my MBA. That would/will be a beautiful time. That will be a freedom I do not know right now. I was told that I was salted and bitter over the last few days of work. That's probably true. Thursdays are the worst. A full day that peaks at the release of the support staff schedule; one that seems to fall short every week. I'm not salty and I'm not bitter. As I posted on Wednesday, I don't want to live my life flavoring other people with that. So I am returning to the sheenanigans I knew before; before all the saltiness. I plan on getting up tomorrow and going running before we meet a friend for breakfast, and I plan on getting up every morning when the Mrs does so I can walk. I have already changed my attitude at work this morning and I will complete my job daily with a smile on my face. and I will finish this diet cola from Weis' Supermarkets to keep me awake. check the blogger alliance section in the side panel. There are some other blogs that I like to read or like to contribute to. Thanks.

A Pause (to reflect on the greatest post ever)

I don't want to be the cynical guy in the room. It's not a challenge anymore. I like having a critical mind, but I don't like looking at things so cynically. What's worse, I don't want reader's of this site to get comfortable with a certain style of my personality that comes out in writing, posting, relating. Here's what I'm trying to say, but can't seem to say: You, the reader, may know me, the blogger, and be used to my jokes, cynical remarks, and critical view of the world. This is great if that were my only shtick. I admit, sometimes I take things too seriously or not seriously enough. I criticise everything that isn't a sanctioned product of Alex and isolate people with harsh statements. Ok, still pretty murky. This is also known as "Alex only has 4-5 minutes to post something so he goes for laughs" side to me. It sometimes leads me to say things like "am I as awkward as you?". The point is, what happens when I post something contrite and heartfelt? Have I trained my readers to be completely cynical of even the writer's writings? Can you truly believe that I could be touched by something emotionally evocative? You see, if my actions are 95% humorous/cynical, I have a hard time believing that you could wade through what I've already established as status quo to find the nugget of truth. Or maybe this thought process is completely lost on you. Perhaps you really are that unaffected by all things cynical. If so, I applaud you and envy you, and this post has merely shown you that from one cynic to another, it's hard to believe (or wade through) what's already been. My hope is that this gives pause to some of you cynics out there. It's great to be the smartest guy (or the most cynical) in the room, but at the end of the day when your heart's on the line, will you receive a cynical response via the same crop of cynicism you've sewn.

So Busy. No Time for Funny.

except this:

Labor Day...and knowing is half the battle.

For those of you who are just waking up, I'd like you to know that I blissfully went to work today. 10-2. Not quite the long haul, but still. Who works on Labor Day? I spent the day talking with the minions and developing my alter-ego which of course, you don't need to tell me is lame. Everyone has one of those "collector" hobbies, this is mine. From 1984ish to 1992ish, my brothers and I would get GI Joes for Christmasi (that's christmas plural) and Birthdays. So do the math 4 brothers x 8 years x 5 yearly events = the GNP of a small micronisian country. We literally had/have an army. So check it out from time to time. I will be posting pictures and weekly updates on my collecting efforts. a.b. (GI Joseph)

The Anti-Blog

With 3 hours and 15 minutes left in my day, Billy Joel is taunting me via muzak with "Only the Good Die Young". I could post about how lots of people die young: good, bad or otherwise. I could post about the inhumanity of being forced to muzak for hours on end. Or, I could just go back to drinking my diet Canada Dry and wishing the day would speed up. Option "C" it is.

A New Way of Life; A Happier Home

So I figured something out: If I save up my rants for this blog and avoid unleashing them on the Mrs, life is much more pleasant at home. That seems simplistic or obvious, but not if you know me. Big statements, big insults were the key to alleviating my frustrations.

Here's a sample, which conveniently enough, I experienced just the other day:

What I would have said to the Mrs: I hate dogs and I hate their stupid owners. I can't even go for a run in the local neighborhood because people leave their friggin' dogs off their friggin' leashes and they run into the street after me. I was just hoping one would bite me so I could sue them for all their stupidity. What I will write here: I hate dogs and I hate their stupid owners. I can't even go for a run in the local neighborhood because people leave their friggin' dogs off their friggin' leashes and they run into the street after me. I was just hoping one would bite me so I could sue them for all their stupidity.

There's a subtle difference, but you'll have to look for it.

So, Stupid Dog Owner, go out and buy yourself a book before your dog costs you your house.